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So suggests a new book that shatters many of our most cherished myths about desire, including the widespread assumption that women's lust is inextricably bound up with emotional connection.

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That explanation appeals, but it also rests on a false assumption that the risks of playing "instigator" are equal for both sexes. And the average age vulva-owners hit menopause is 51, which can lead to less interest in sex and vaginal dryness.

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Women want sex just as much as men do, and this drive is "not, for the most part, sparked or sustained by emotional intimacy and safety.

Why men are hot for sex but women warm to it

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Benoit said. is it just me or is my sex drive higher than usual?

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He is co-author of Beauty, Disrupted: A Memoir. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters theatlantic.

Finally adjusting to these medications can also result in a higher libido, says garrison. for many women, desire is not the cause of sex, but its result

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